to baby #2: 20 weeks

yikes! we're half way there already.

 

we had our 19 weeks scan at the beginning of the week. your daddy and i decided not to find out your gender the day we had our 12 weeks scan. we wanted it to be a surprise and the suspense is really killing me.

 

on our way to the scan,  i suggested to daddy that we should just cut the crap and find out now so we can be more prepared in terms of getting stuff ready for your arrival but on second thought i decided against it. afterall, we've waited 20 weeks, what's another 20 weeks? the wait will be worth it when dr Ford yell out 'it's a girl' or 'it's a boy' when you arrive. for now,  i'll just continue to imagine what you are,  whether you'll be born with a full head dark hair like your brother,  whether you'll look like your brother who looks like a spitting image of me or would you look like your daddy?  from the 3D images the sonographer showed us,  you looked like you might have a sharper and longer face compared to your brother. i said to daddy looking at the 3D image, i think you look like him. he thinks i'm crazy.

 

i can feel more and more of your movements these days. all the little flutters are very reassuring and i enjoyed every single one of them. i'm looking forward to the next 20 weeks as you grow bigger and when your movements become more visible on my bump. i think your brother might enjoy it too.

 

before i became pregnant with you,  i always thought the second pregnancy is not going to feel as special as the first one. after all, i've been there and have a fair idea of what to expect for the three trimesters. but i was wrong. maybe because i know this would be my last pregnancy and also learning from past experience how quickly the due date comes around i try my best to savour every moment i'm pregnant with you. every moment except for the ones when i was really sick in the first trimester.

 

the reality of caring for a newborn and meeting the demands of an active toddler has finally dawn on me. i'm both excited to have a newborn in my arms again and sad that i won't be able to give 100% of my attention to either you or your brother. nevertheless,  it's going to be a challenge both emotionally and physically at the beginning but it won't last forever. i believe we need new challenges in our lives every now and then to make life more interesting and to learn and grow too.