a Christmas miracle

//originally written on 25.12.13

it's Christmas morning and we had a miracle.

we didn't think it would happen so soon. not 7 weeks after our previous lost. i had an inkling at the end of last week but i was too afraid to be sure. i've been thinking about doing the test since the weekend but i thought i'd wait till Christmas morning for that extra luck. 

and then we saw two lines....two lines! it is still early days and we have both learnt out lesson so we decided to not think about it too much and be too excited incase it is short lived like the last time we were pregnant. for once, i have no idea the due date for this baby. i know when i lost my last but falling pregnant again so soon after a miscarriage, i don't know how far along i am now so trying to estimate the due date is even harder. 

our GP is close till the first week of the new year so we probably won't know for sure for at least another 10 days. i wouldn't know whether my first blood test would show a higher BhCg than the last but if everything goes well, i'd be able to see my OB in two to three weeks and if i'm lucky, i might even get a dating scan. 

i'm taking things really easy this time around. not over exerting myself and trying my best to reduce the chances of having another miscarriage. i'm keeping all my fingers and toes crossed. 

for my big sis

i was sorting through my 4 year old ASUS eeepc, deleting files I no longer need and keeping the important ones. 

i came across the speech i prepared for my doi jia (big sister), for her wedding reception on 6 December 2009. 

ever since i told her about this blog, she's been my biggest fan. i know her favourite posts are the ones with boo. i hope she'll like this one too. i won't include the entire speech but just the few important paragraphs to sum up our childhood and our relationship. 

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...as the older sister of the family Brenda has always looked out for Jessie and me. from young Brenda taught us how to watch out for trouble and how to get into trouble. when mum brought out the cane Brenda was always the first to run away... 

even when we were older she was still looking out for me. when i first started college, she would walk with me to college, but i really think it is because she wanted to check out if there are any good looking boys in my class. even from young Brenda has always been very popular, dad used to say she can send out 3 text messages every minute even when she is asleep. Not surprisingly he was not very happy every time he received Brenda’s phone bill.

but through the years Brenda has grown more and more mature. Dad and the family have always been proud of her. from young she was always daddy’s princess, and when she left to study in Australia she was greatly missed by her family and friends, for her bright personality and her ability to know what to say to make people around her happy. needless to say everyone was happy when Brenda came back after graduating, especially our dad.

Brenda and dad always had a very special relationship. and as a child she used to follow everywhere dad goes and everything dad does. therefore, she would always follow dad wherever he went to eat and would eat whatever he would eat. If dad likes to eat chicken drumstick, he would have to give it to Brenda because she likes whatever dad likes. Dad always loved to spoil her, and in turn she loved dad very much.

that is why last year was a very difficult time for our family and especially Brenda, when our father passed away. that day she had lost more than a father, she also lost a role model and a close friend. despite this Brenda stepped up and grew stronger for dad; she helped our family through this tough period because she knew that would be what dad would have wanted. and deep down we all know till this day dad is still very proud of her. and if he were here today, we know that besides the day Brenda arrived in this world, today would be the happiest day in his life. even though he is not here, he would want Brenda to always be happy...

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i've deleted a lot of unimportant files from the old laptop but i'm definitely keeping this one. 

maybe next time

the photography/memory keeping workshop competition winner was announced today.

it wasn’t me. i was a little upset when i found out but it’s behind me now.

never mind, it’s not about winning. it’s the process of taking part, working as a team with Jim to come up with an idea, getting him to take the photo for me and also coming up with a story to go with the photo.

and most importantly i believe we gave it our best shot and we (i know i have, not sure about Jim) have enjoyed the process.

anyway, here’s my (our) entry \\

This photo is precious to me because, even before I first laid eyes on Gabriel I could hear his first hiccups and cries, and straight away I wanted to tell him that everything is alright, that mummy is here to protect him.

When the doctor first placed him into my arms, he stopped crying and he looked up into my eyes. I knew right then that my career, my dream holiday to New York, all could never be as precious as this moment, as special as this boy.

I was fortunate that my husband was there to capture this moment, and I know that there will be plenty more moments in the future as treasured as this, and I do not want to miss a single one of them.

follow your heart and you shall succeed

 

15 August 2013 was a special day for Jessie. she followed her heart and made one of her life long dreams come true. after months of hard work, research and recipes testing, her online cake business (o’CAKEsionally) was born and launched on Facebook. in the course of a day, the Facebook page for o’CAKEsionally has gained over 100 likers. 

i’m so happy for her because i know this is what she’s always wanted to do. Jess and i used to bake together a lot during our high school days. after i moved overseas, she continued to bake and every now and then, she would send me pictures of her creations.   

she first discussed her idea with me in June and we did a quick brainstorming session over the phone. within days, she started messaging me and telling me about the different cake recipes she’s tested and asking me for my opinions on how she could improve her recipes. she would send me pictures of her cakes almost everyday. some nice looking ones when the recipe worked and some ugly looking cakes when they didn't. she would bake them in different tins, using different recipes and tweaking the recipes as she goes to improve the taste of her cake. i'm blown away by her perseverance and creativity. 

it's pretty amazing what you can achieve when you are doing something you love. i'm envious of people who knows what they love, does it as a living and succeed. and i often wonder to myself if i were to give up my full time job, what would i like to do as a living? what would make me happy? and when i do find the answer, would i have the courage to follow my heart and pursue my dreams like Jessie?