reviving an old project

there are so many things i wanna remember about the kids, what they are up to now, their little milestones, the little moments in our everyday but every night when by the time i get to turn on my lap top and start to draft a post, it is usually after 10 o'clock at night and i try to go to bed y 10:30 just in case the girl decided to wake up for a middle of the night feed. to write a good post that is well structured accompanied by nicely edited photos at that time of the day, in thirty minutes, is just not possible. i'm generally too tired, my thoughts are jumping everywhere and my post is all over the place (just like what's happening right now). 

so, i've drafted about five posts which have not been published because they are all poorly structured and not very well written plus i haven't had the chance to choose and edit the photos to go with them. but i had a lightbulb moment at the dining table tonight. instead of writing long post (which are never going to be completed and published), i am going to revive an old project i did on instagram in 2012.  i called it 365 days of Gabriel whereby for an entire year, i posted a photo a day about boo and each photo is accompanied by a few lines of the things i wanna remember about that day. so, instead of bringing back this project on instagram, i'm going to do it on this blog and i'm going to call it 365 days of Gabriel and Charlotte. this way, the things i wanna remember will be written and published here on the blog rather than remaining in draft mode and never published. the project starts now! 

a birthday and a secret mission

for Jim's birthday last year, we were lucky enough to have his parents here so we could leave boo with them and had a date night for his birthday. we went to Sepia and it was the last time we had any fine dining.  

date night or day date or any kind of date/celebration on his birthday is not feasible this year with a 3 month old and a pre schooler. and because it was a weekday too. to celebrate his birthday this year, we've planned to go out for lunch as a family on the weekend but i couldn't let the actual day of his birthday go by without a mini celebration with the kids. so i gave myself a secret mission. i made a death star cake for him. because it was a surprise, i could only work on the cake when he is at work and also when boo is at daycare. i'm so glad his birthday this year was on Friday because that gave me Tuesday to Friday to make it. i baked the cake on Tuesday, ganached and iced it on Wednesday, worked on the embellishments on Thursday and finished the last minutes touch ups on Friday at 3pm. 

the cake was completed in between feeding and settling Charlotte, laundry, daycare drop offs and pick ups, groceries shopping, dinner preparation etc. suffice to say, Charlotte was pretty neglected and by the end of the week, i was knackered. 

i'm glad i managed to pull it off and completed the cake on time to surprise him because he truly deserves a special cake this year. he's been such a good husband to me and an awesome daddy to the kids. this cake is nothing compared to all the surprises he's given me over the years we've been together. hopefully we'll be able to have a date night again at a fine dining restaurant for his 35th birthday because i have no idea what other cake i can make for him.

to my little miss // 100 days old

my little miss, you are now more than 100 days old but i finally have a chance to finish this blog post i intended to complete when you were 100 days old. 

life has been pretty hectic since the in laws left but i won't go into too much details about it because this post is all about you, my little Charlie Bear. 

you turned 100 days old on 16 November. while we don't celebrate this milestone like some other cultures do, i thought 100 days old is still a pretty big deal so i took some photos for you to remember this milestone.  

these photos pretty much sums up what you were like when you were 100 days old - HAPPY! you're a little happy baby just like your brother and as long as you are fed and rested, you are very generous with your smiles. and with that smile of yours, you can ask for anything and everything and i would give them all to you. 

when i sent these photos of you to your grandparents (gung gung, mah mah and poh poh), they all commented on your chubby thighs. your gung gung asked me if you've put on more weight since they left just a few weeks ago. i looked at the photos again and thought to myself, are your thighs really that chubby?!? to be honest, i didn't even noticed them when i was reviewing these photos because all i could see was my little happy baby. i guess it's fair to say that when you become a parent, all you can see in your own child is perfection. in hindsight, maybe i should have put you in something nicer rather than a Bonds plain white onesie but i don't think it would make a difference because your happy face is all i can see in these photos. 

you are getting so much more interactive these days. you chuckles and smiles whenever i play with you and talk to you. i know just exactly what i need to do to get you to chuckle and smile. your favourite songs are baa baa black sheep and rockabye a bear and whenever i sing them to you, i would hold your hands and we would do all the actions together. i'm not sure if you like my animated face or my singing but you sure love these two songs. 

in terms of milestones, you discovered your fists and you can't stop putting them into your mouth and it's actually your favourite pass time to suck on them. apart from that, you have also found your voice. in addition to your normal cooing, you now also like to babble. your babble is especially loud when you are tired which is pretty handy because that's my cue that you're tired and need to sleep.  

time is going by so quickly this time around. soon you'd be 6 months old and ready for solids, soon you'd be crawling, walking and soon you'd be the size of your brother but one thing for sure, you will always be my littlest baby. my sweetest sweetest little Charlie Bear.  

my neglected boo

on the morning after the in laws left, the first thing boo did when he woke up was to look for his grandparents in their room. he had sent them off to the airport the day before so he knew that they won't be there but he still went to look for them in case they are there. he's normally very chirpy first thing in the morning but not that morning.  when he came into our room, he was not chirpy at all. he told me he couldn't find gung gung and his eyes started to tear up. it breaks my heart to know how sad he must have felt when he opened their room door to find an empty room. 

the in laws have been coming and going every couple of months since boo was born and every time they left,  he's been fine. we've always told him they've gone on holiday and he's never asked for them once they are gone.

this time around because i've been busy with Charlotte,  he had spent more time with them. for the passed three months,  grandpa has been taking him to daycare and taking him home after. every other day grandpa would take him to the shops to buy lollies, toys,  ice cream and his favourite kinder surprise. 

Bec at daycare spoke to me the other day about her observations of boo's behavior. she asked me if there's been any changes at home because boo's behaviour has changed from a happy little boy who listens and participate in group activities to not listening, getting upset easily and not participating in group activities. i told her his grandparents went away two weekends ago and Bec figured that could be the reason why he's acting up. she's commented he's very sensitive to change and they will help him get through this rough period.  

i feel so guilty as i haven't been able to give boo the attention he needs since Charlotte was born. it was fine when the in laws were here but i think he really felt the neglect once they are gone. so last week, i've been taking him to the shops after daycare. sometimes we would hang out at the toys section at target for a little bit so he could check out the new toys,  sometimes i would buy him a kinder surprise as a treat and last Friday,  i decided to take him to yogurberry for some frozen yogurt. he was very excited when i told him where we're going after i picked him up from daycare. i hope he'll get through this rough period soon and be back to his happy little self again in daycare.

little miss // the birth story

i drafted this post shortly after Charlotte's birth as the memory was still fresh at the time and i wanted to remember as much details of her arrival as possible.  i didn't publish it straightaway because i wasn't sure of the format of the post. i was thinking maybe i should change it to a timeline or maybe there's too much details and i need to scale it back. but today, i decided to just published it as it is. so, here goes the birth story...

we're 10 days before the due date and i've always had an inkling that baby #2 would come a week early. maybe because she's been measuring a week ahead everytime i had a scan. 

it was another Thursday night, except it was getting more and more uncomfortable to move around. especially from sitting to standing. after putting boo to sleep, i went into my own room and started watching Heston's great british food on sbs. the show finished at 9:30 and i got myself ready to go to bed. as it is still a little early,  i decided to watch an episode of nigelissima as i multitasked and played candy crush on the iPad at the same time.

about 15 mins into the show,  i turned to get into a more comfortable position and i felt a little gush of water coming out soaking my pants. it felt like I had just lost control of my bladder. i rushed to the bathroom as i told jim i think my water just broke. he went into a bit of a panic and started to ask me what we should do next. i honestly didn't know what to do next so i asked him to pass me the 'what to expect when you're expecting' book,  scheme through the index page and found a section on what to do when your water break. apparently i'm meant to ring the hospital. this whole water breaking business is new to us because my water didn't break at home when i was expecting your boo.

i rang the hospital,  explained the situation and was told to go in so they can check me out.  we grabbed the hospital bag and on the way we go. so glad i've got everything packed. i was pretty relaxed when we were on our way to the hospital because i didn't have any contractions yet,  i was asking Jim if he could believe that we're gonna meet our baby soon and i also asked him if he was ready to find out whether we'll have 2 boys or one of each. as we got closer to the hospital, it dawned on me that this is the end of my pregnancy.  i will no longer have an excuse to walk around with a big gut and have an excuse to eat more than i should. but on the bright side, i no longer need to go to the bathroom 5 times a night. 

we arrived at the hospital at about 10:30. as we walked from the car park to the birthing suite, more water gushed out but still no contractions. it was relatively quiet when we got to the birthing suite. we waited for the midwife to check on the baby's heart rate etc. at this stage, i still didn't have any contractions and i was thinking to myself i could be sent home if nothing happens. as the midwife started hooking up the monitor, i started to feel a little contraction and i wonder how long it is going to take for the contractions to get stronger and closer together. 

the midwife left us in our room to get settled in and when she came back she told me she spoke to Dr Ford and if my contraction is still quite mild, i could go home and then come back later or i could stay but Dr Ford would prefer me to stay just in case. after all, this is my second baby. Jim and i decided that we would stay. as the contractions were still quite far apart, he decided to take the opportunity to go home to grab a few more things like the camera which we forgot to take with us as we rushed out the door.  

he was gone for about an hour and during that time, the contractions were still relatively mild. when he got back to the hospital, the contractions started to get a bit stronger but still bearable. i was on the phone messaging my sisters and mum, keeping them posted. the midwife came and checked on me again and things are still progressing well. i was advised to get some sleep while i can. Jim set up the sofa bed and within minutes, he was snoring away. as for me, the contractions started to get a little stronger. i can no longer sit still or lie down. i had to walk around the room. i started timing the contractions as they got closer and stronger. 

when they got to five minutes apart, i called the midwife and they checked on me and told me we're getting there. i contemplated getting an epidural briefly but decided to settle on the gas instead. by that time, i was in quite a bit of pain and it felt like i didn't get any break from each contractions at all. i had to curl up on the bed and breathe in the gas hard every time i had a contraction. the midwife did another check on me and i was seven centimetres dilated. she told me she spoke to Dr Ford and he is on his way. by then it was around 2:30am. in between contractions, i could see the midwife getting things ready in the room. 

it must have been around 3am when Dr Ford arrived and that's when i felt the urge to push. by this stage, i was getting a little hysterical with the pain. the feeling i had was exactly the same as what i felt when i had boo. i had forgotten about them until then. i started to ask myself why oh why did i put myself in this position again. but at the same time, the thought of finally meeting the baby and holding him/her in my arms gave me some incentives to keep going. 

while i screamed the house down with every push, everyone around me was very calm and supportive especially Jim. he was trying to take my mind off the pain by reminding me how close we are to meeting our baby. 

at 3:40am, i did a final push and i heard the baby's cry for the first time. as Dr Ford lifted the baby up, i looked at the little face but couldn't tell if i had a girl or a boy so i quickly looked at the other body parts and i was really surprised to find that i had a girl. I HAD A GIRL!! a girl with lots of hair and she is gorgeous. even when she's covered in lots of blood and yucky stuff. Dr Ford placed her in my arms, he clipped the umbilical cord and handed the scissors to Jim. after that, i just couldn't stop staring at Charlotte before the midwife took her away to clean her up and to complete all the standard checks. 

as i laid there, i could hear Charlotte crying in the background and i thought to myself i was correct right from the beginning of the pregnancy. all that extra morning sickness and how different the pregnancy felt in the first trimester are all signs that i was having a girl.

i was always worried i might not have enough love for another baby but that worry disappear into thin air as soon as Dr Ford placed Charlotte in my arms. 

to my little miss // ten weeks (and four days)

my little miss,  you are ten weeks and four days today. i was going to do a post when you turned two months old but i was busy 'crafting'. oops! i guess it's better late than never.

i was going to write about your routine and milestone achieved at ten weeks but i'm changing things up a little bit and i'm gonna write about the things i love about you at ten weeks.

_ i love that you greet me with the biggest smile whenever i pick you up. whether it's one of your 2am feeds or after i've changed your nappy
_ i love it when i talk to you,  you would respond to me with your goo goo ga ga and lots and lots of smiles too
_ i love that when i want a smile from you, all i had to do is to touch the tip of your nose and talk to you
_ i love how you like to talk to the hanging toys on your play gym and i love that you enjoy playing on your own
_ i love that whenever someone talk to you,  you will give them a big smile. even if it's someone new
_ i love how you stare at daddy when he gives you a bath. you always look so relax and contented
_ i love the look on your face when your brother talk to you. it is as though you know he is your brother
_ i love your curious little face when you're checking out and learning about your surrounding
_ i love that when you are upset and unsettled,  nobody can settle you except for me
_ i love that you started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. whilst you don't sleep through consistently yet,  every now and then you would surprise me and sleep through the night when i least expect it
_ i love you because you smell so good

getting my craft on

a couple of weeks back Charlotte started sleeping longer stretches at night, so i stopped going to bed as soon as i put her to bed. which means i started to have an extra half an hour to an hour to spare before i had to go to bed. sometimes this extra time is filled with chores like tidying up the mess from the day and preparing for the next day. and sometimes when i'm lucky i get to do some diy crafts i pinned on my pinterest board. 

 

so far, i managed to make some felt flowers headbands for Charlotte and her cousin, K-Rynn. i also painted some wooden beads and turned them into necklaces. these necklaces are already on their way to Malaysia for my sisters. 

it is quite therapeutic and relaxing to be able to slow down and enjoy what i like to do every now and then and 'crafting' is definitely a very nice way to end the day.